Thankful

       During the time of Thanksgiving, we often take time to be thankful for all the things we have such as food and shelter and other appliances. What we sometimes don't think about are the people around us that we should be thankful for.

       First and for most, I am thankful for teachers. Not those who teach as a job, but those who teach as a lifestyle. I am thankful for those teachers who show me a new way to think of life and problems. I am thankful for teachers who try interest each student with creative assignments.  Most of all, I am thankful for teachers who place much unrequited effort into helping each and every student succeed.

      I am also thankful for many of my classmates. I am thankful for Morgan, Trenati, and Marcos who often I often work in a group with. Seeing that I missed the first week of school including choosing seats, had I been present, I most likely would have sit by people I was more familiar with and therefore would have never have made friends with these people, or even heard some of their opinions. I am thankful that they were so friendly and accepting of someone they had never met before.

     Lastly, I would like to say I am thankful for my good friend Barni Nuur. Knowing Barni since 7th grade and having many classes with her, we discuss many things, English class included. Despite her quiet appearance in class, she is actually very opinionated. Barni brings up points that I would often overlook and helps me to see a different side of a character or plot. Barni is a very outspoken person and her confidence is actually kind of inspiring. Also her mere presence lights up the room, not really it’s a pretty bright room as is, but I told her I would say that.

I Celebrate Myself

Individuality. The idea that you, yourself, are a single functioning unit in the vast collection of human beings. Like a single blade of grass, you exist on your own unattached to the "larger picture" known as the human existence. You are a being who conjugates thoughts and experiences and extrapolates emotions from those experiences. Ironically this idea is lost in the sea of thoughts which you form individually, or not.

We often lose our sense of individuality with the influence of society. The line between what we think and what is forced upon us by peer pressures and subliminal advertising is often blurred. Opinion oppression and expressive massacre consistently occur on a regular basis where that man who wanted to spend his days living in Alaska or looking at grass was deemed useless and wasteful of his life and others time. Time becomes a currency. Time is of the essence. Time, time, time. Nobody has time to fathom that their time should be spent wisely making the most out of their time alive. The most becomes material. Who ever dies with the most toys wins. We acquire this mindset that true fulfillment is in objects and happiness comes from a TV or computer. We use these things to distract ourselves from the constraining life layout that is forced upon us from our very beginning. to go to school in a white room with a square desk and memorize facts that we can regurgitate on standardized tests in order to accept whichever job pays the most so that we can buy more cars clothes and TVs and pay taxes and die. Although that life may hold precious memories in its own and could possibly form an adequate life for many, it is not how we should think. Life is not a formula where person + education = job = money = things = happiness. Our lives are wasted trying to work for money to achieve material happiness for our selves and our families, but once it is achieved, it doesn’t last. We forget that we once enjoyed ourselves without all this stuff. We forget that there were things we liked to do outside of the life layout that was set for us by society. We begin to forget that we can form thoughts and opinion of our own.

Walking down the street in a rush, because you are always in a rush, with your mind preoccupied with things that you need to do, daring not to make eye contact with the people walking next to you. But once you look up and make the quickest glance with the slightest smile which takes less than an ounce of your energy or thought but potentially reminded that person that not all people are selfishly fixated on their own lives. That person could potentially smile at another stranger having the same effect. This may or may not continue but for those who see, they begin to think, why are we not nicer to each other? And that is a thought many of us think. Why are we not nicer to each other? is it because the world is a cruel place and you cant survive if you’re nice, or maybe because society has conspired against us, or because man is not supposed to be kind he is supposed to be great, or because the idea of continuing this chain of living a lifestyle with tiring monotonous work with little reward to appealing? Those some of these claims may be true, we have the individual ability to break the chain and rewrite the world. We see that a field of grass is actually made up of millions on individual blades. But unfortunately, this idea can be and is reversed so that one bad apple spoils the bunch. We are so quick to emulate those who are bad because if they are getting a leg up we want it too, even if it is in a negative way. And so it is easier to continue a trend.

And so we decide. Do we want to revolutionize or do we want to survive?

Edgar Allen Poe

Edgar Allen Poe’s literature is surrounded by ominous connotations of mysterious, eerie, grim thoughts and descriptions. Inspiration for these literary works can be traced to his biography. Disreputable stories swarm to Poe’s name like flies to a fruit bowl, but many are untrue. Stories of Edgar Allen Poe being an alcoholic, womanizing, mad man are merely stories, conjured specifically to discredit the poet.

            In reality, Edgar was born to two actors in Boston 1809 with one brother and one sister. At the age of three, Poe’s parents died, sending Edgar to live with tobacco merchants and his siblings to live with other families. John and Frances Allen lived in Richmond Virginia and hoped Poe would grow to be in the tobacco business as well, but Poe aspired to be a poet instead. With this disapproval, Edgar Allen Poe left for college and had to solely pay the two thirds of his education tuition that the Allen’s would not pay for. Poverty stricken, Poe burnt furniture to keep warm.  Poe returned in vain to see his fiancé who had already married. His anger towards John Allen grew until he finally left for the US Army in frustration. Soon, though, his step mother acquired Tuberculosis and died before Poe could return to see her. Arguing with his step father once more and getting kicked out of the Army, Poe went to Baltimore where he met his aunt Marie Clemm and her daughter Virginia. It was then that his step father died and left Poe out of his will. Poe found a writing job at the Southern Literary Messenger and began writing stunningly honest book reviews. These brutally critical reviews not only gained him fame but also enemies. Poe soon married Virginia Clemm and they lived happily. Unsatisfied with his pay, Poe traveled to New York in job search but received no better pay despite his popularity. On the contrary he was able to publish works such as The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym, Tales of the Grotesque and Arabesque, and most popular, The Raven. With the publication of The Raven, Poe was taken seriously and was know throughout households. Unfortunately, short after this success, his wife Virginia died of tuberculosis in1847. Unable to write, Poe made few writings after this such as For Annie, but died two years later in 1849.

            This biography embroidered with death and disparity alludes to many of the ideas that Poe played with in his literary works. As seen in Legia and The Raven, Poe questions not only what the afterlife is, but goes further to things many would not fathom at the time as to question whether there is something after death at all.

What it Means to be American

America, the land of the free, home of the brave. Founded on ideals of justice and equality, unless, of course, you weren't white, rich, and male. Sadly, in parts of the world, some of these prejudices carry over, but America is one of the leading countries to eliminate the discriminations and truly practice impartialness. Unfortunately this comes with an air of entitlement, which leads to stereotypes on American "culture". Yes, as sad and unbelievable as it is, there are people who don’t particularly like Americans. Typically Americans are thought of as shotgun-cheeseburger loving, obese, self-centered slobs. Having that in mind, it makes it a lot more difficult to conform into one united nation. Many times you will hear someone describe themselves as Polish, Columbian, or Ethiopian, but do not fathom themselves American. It becomes derogatory (you selfish American!), not only because of the connotation to the stereotypes mentioned above, but also because it comes with an idea that we are no longer connected to our former relations or heritage. We are reminded that, through globalization, we become more and more uniform every year, loosing the individuality that was our culture.

            But America isn’t a bad place and being American shouldn’t be a negative thing. Through much hardship, we are still the land of opportunities and very accepting or all races and religions. With this idea, it becomes more difficult to define the American nation. How could one call themselves American when America has no normality? There is no national religion language or race and it doesn’t appear evident that there will ever be one. Given the ideas from above, people are reluctant to convert to any one thing and given the founding constitution, nobody has to. Until things change, Americans will be unified by three main concepts, equality, Liberty, and opportunities.

The Modern Puritan

Harsh judgment and merciless ridicule swirled their heads to conjugate cruel assessments, but the sad thing is that to them, they are not harsh, merciless, nor cruel.  The reaction to that which is unfamiliar is a common attitude in their bleak lives of minimal variation. The paradox reoccurring throughout Puritans is the consistent growth in pretentious mindsets. Even though criticism is directly against the beliefs and morals held by these people, it is often seen that through their endeavors to better themselves to perfection, slowly they retain a false sense of flawlessness causing brash assumptions about other's character and quick judgment based off minor actions. Represented by the sneering gossips in the second chapter of the Scarlet Letter, it is also evident that false claims of insufficiency are made up due to jealousy. People are supposed to behave and react to a certain set of morals but these morals are instead disregarded due to hostility towards others in a community. And worst of all, it sees that those who prevail are not those who abide by these unreasonably strict ideals, but instead those who are so far from these morals that they know how to manipulate and lie to appear innocent.

These contradictory ideas have been adapted, not only in one group in particular, but in most beliefs of modern society. Western standards for what is acceptable are extremely skewed, that they become impossible to uphold, whether it be the amount of technology to be owned, or the body shape of an individual. Seen prevalently in feminine ideals; many people are held to ridiculously unobtainable standards and condemned when they fall short. People preach the importance of loving who you are and individuality, but are when this becomes reality, they are rejected due to jealousy or the simple imprint of human nature to shun all of what is unusual. People in modern culture advocate the goodness of human kind but when morals of kindness are exemplified, they are viewed as “uncool”.  It is also evident that those who succeed in our society are the opportunistic who know how to undermine the laws typically applicable to others whether they be of state or of humanity.  

John Proctor: Hero or Stooge

The night wind pressed forth on my window. Previously this occurrence would cause me to leap to prayer, but now only brings sorrow and guilt to my heart. Guilt that treads so heavily inside me is brought not only by the idea that I once believed, truly, in a church that became so corrupted, but also the sentiment that the commence of this horrific tragedy could be attributed to my appearance in that town. The only comfort I can bring myself is with the notion that I believed myself helping to remove the devil, but only now do I realize the devil was deep inside each of their heart in the form of vengeance and pride. Try as I might, I cannot forget the monstrosities I have aided in, but mostly the injustice I have brought to one family in particular, the Proctors.

John Proctor's fate had been sealed the moment Abigail was entrusted with power and only now do I realize the flaw in our previous reasoning. For it was preceding sins that condemned him when the foes he had made in his community gained the ability to persecute him. A flawed hero, he faced not only the physical adversaries accusing him of blasphemy, but also his inner battle with guilt and unworthiness. But, it is not the sins that damn a person, but instead whether or not he repents and proceeds in the doing of Gods will after he seeks salvation. John clearly exemplified the idea of Christianity through his loyalty to his fellow neighbors and clairvoyance throughout the madness. The extent of pride and self-centered characteristics represented by the leaders of the providence was appalling and in comparison depicts john proctor to be saint-like. I pray God forgive me for urging a good man to turn to sin but under circumstances so extreme, no other solution seemed to appear. Though I would not have it be as it is, I understand why John must have done what he did. Be it pride or not, a man’s name is the only thing he has once he has endured betrayal and torture. Therefore, in his final acts, John not only protected his sons however best he could, but also saved the lives of many for hanging.

I have refrained from interaction as best as possible until my judgment recovers form these happenings, though I fear they never will. I know not of the happenings in Salem now but I hope they have come to Gods light.

New Arrivals... There Goes the Neighborhood

The autumn air was brisk and gusty. Fallen leaves spiraled into micro tornadoes in the wind. Enveloped in a layer of clouds, the sky was cast in a shade of pale grey. The dreary weather accommodated the feeling of uncertainty he felt. Forced to leave his home for 'better opportunities', his entire family left to endure months of sickening waters alongside other traders on a small ship called the Fortune. Relief had filled each and every person when they had finally reached land. This sentiment, however, was ill felt due to the bittersweet terms of their arrival. Talk of supply strain was overheard by both newcomers and previous settlers. This of course was because, as he later found out, their journey hadn't exactly been expected. On top of this, the land that had been promised to give new fortune had the appearance of being bleak and barren. The rocky cliffs and tough soil hardly seemed welcoming, at least not in his eyes.

            This knowledge put him on edge. Having the feeling of undesirability, he felt paranoid over, possibly inexistent, eyes following his figure as he passed by. Attitudes felt hostile towards him. The feeling of judgment never ceased to leave his side. Their placement of blame was not incorrect, however. He understood their rations were scarce to start of with and now the arrival of 35 newcomers would be sure to tax everyone’s famine. Knowing it wasn’t unreasonable; he still somehow felt their allegation was hypocritical, for he had heard the older men in taverns talk of native savages before the first settlement. This thought angered him, for they knew how it felt to be unwelcome. They should understand that he was not responsible for what his community had done, or not done. He wished they saw the similarities in their situations over their differences, as he did.

Still, he felt the eyes follow and inhospitable conversations lined his ambivalent days. Slowly, the trees grew bare and fallen leaves degenerated, creating a perfect metaphor for the colony’s state of being. As autumn faded to winter, he watched the town officials, perplexed over the ration shortage dilemma, scramble to fathom a resolution, however desolate the chances seemed.

Introduction

   During the short fourteen years of my life, I have been called a “walking dictionary”, “Little Delgado” (given to me by the constant association to my older sister), and “Lauren Actually” (a pun on my actual name, Lauren Ashley, due to my extensive use of the word actually at the age of 3). While each of these nicknames provides a somewhat relative description of me; my favorite is still the portrayal of Renaissance woman, as I was called by a colleague of my father’s. I believe this is specifically well suited due to my well-rounded personality. Though I am not typically exceptional at any one thing in particular, I enjoy music of all sorts, ranging from classical to contemporary, and play both violin and viola. I have played soccer, basketball, and softball. I enjoy writing and reading extensively, as well as drawing and painting. Unfortunately this leads to the predicament of self definition, or lack of it. With a logical and analytical mind, I often found myself listening and observing behavior of those around me, which in turn lead to others confiding in me, even if we are not well acquainted. Aside from that, I have a great love for science and the study of the natural world. One of my earliest memories is of my comprehension of relativity of time after reading a children’s biography on Einstein. Independence has also been a theme of my memories, whether it was wandering off at daycare, or finishing activities without the aid of other peers or teachers. This was not so much due to an introverted mindset but more dependant on a curiosity and excitement from discovering something new. Sometimes, I am unfortunately described as hardheaded when coming to meeting and exceeding the expectations I hold for myself. On a lighter note, I enjoy anything that involves humor.